Blonde jokes Jokes Funny Blonde jokes Jokes

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There are 324 Blonde jokes Jokes in this category.



A blonde walks into a hair salon from Flashcomment Blonde jokes Jokes
A blonde walks into a hair salon to get her hair cut wearing headphones. The stylist asks her to take off her headphones but the blonde refuses. So the stylist takes them off and the blonde collapses to the ground and dies. The stylist picks up the headphones and hears, "Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out..."

One day there was a blonde riding from Flashcomment Blonde jokes Jokes
One day there was a blonde riding a horse. The horse kept going faster and faster until the blonde fell off, with her foot getting stuck in the stirrup. Hearing her screams for help, finally a Wal-Mart clerk came over and turned off the merry-go-round.

One day a blonde redhead and a from Flashcomment Blonde jokes Jokes
One day a blonde, red-head, and a brunette were driving through the desert when all of a sudden their car broke down. They decided they would all walk to civilization. The red-head said, "I'm going to take water so if I get thirsty I can drink it." Then the brunette said, "I'm going to take some food so if I get hungry I can eat." And then the blonde said "I'm going to take the car door, so if I get hot, I can roll the window down!"

Q Why did the blonde write TGIF from Flashcomment Blonde jokes Jokes
Q. Why did the blonde write "TGIF" on her shoes? A. To remind her that "toes go in first."

Q What is a brunette between two from Flashcomment Blonde jokes Jokes
Q. What is a brunette between two blondes? A. An interpreter.

Q If a blonde and a brunette from Flashcomment Blonde jokes Jokes
Q. If a blonde and a brunette were falling off a building, who would hit the ground first? A. The brunette because the blonde would stop for directions.

A blonde was going on a plane from Flashcomment Blonde jokes Jokes
A blonde was going on a plane trip to New York. When the attendant came by and asked for her ticket, she told the blonde,"I'm sorry. Your ticket isn't for first class. Could you please move to your seat." The blonde replied,"Im blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York." The attendant said,"That's fine miss, but you'll have to go to your seat." The blonde responded again, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York." This conversation continued, always with the blonde's same response. The attendant got so upset that she went to the captain and told him about the blonde. The captain went and whispered something in the blonde's ear and the blonde immeadiately got up and went to her seat in coach. The attendant asked the captain how he got the stubborn blonde to move. He said, "I just told her that this part of the plane wasn't going to New York."

A blonde wanting to earn some money from Flashcomment Blonde jokes Jokes
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and other materials that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should, she was standing on it." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde a dded, "it's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

Q What is the fastest way to from Flashcomment Blonde jokes Jokes
Q. What is the fastest way to get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? A. Wave at her.

Q What does a blonde see when from Flashcomment Blonde jokes Jokes
Q. What does a blonde see when she looks into a box of cheerios? A. Donut seeds.

Q What is eternityA When blondes meet from Flashcomment Blonde jokes Jokes
Q. What is eternity? A. When 4 blondes meet at a 4-way-stop-sign-intersection!

Did you hear about the two Blondes from Flashcomment Blonde jokes Jokes
Did you hear about the two Blondes that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theater? They went to see "Closed for Winter".

A man was trimming his bushes His from Flashcomment Blonde jokes Jokes
A man was trimming his bushes. His neighbor (the blonde) walks out, checks her mail only to see that it's empty, and goes back inside. Five minutes later, she comes back out, checks her mail again only to see that it's still empty, and goes back in. The third time she comes out, the man asks her, "Excuse me, is there a problem?" The blonde replies, "Darn right there's a problem! My computer keeps on telling me 'I've got mail'!"

A Why do blondes always smile during from Flashcomment Blonde jokes Jokes
A. Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms? Q. They think their picture is being taken.

A blonde goes into a Best Buy from Flashcomment Blonde jokes Jokes
A blonde goes into a Best Buy. She asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner. The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing and again the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes. Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red. Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time. To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes. The blonde asks the clerk, "How do you know I am a blonde?" The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV - it's a microwave."

One day blondes decided to drive to from Flashcomment Blonde jokes Jokes
One day 2 blondes decided to drive to Disney Land. When they saw a sign that said 'Disney Land left' they turned around and went home.

A blonde comes home from a day from Flashcomment Blonde jokes Jokes
A blonde comes home from a day of shopping and discovers that her house is on fire, so she calls the fire department on her cell phone. "Please state the nature of your emergency," says the operator. "Help! My house is on fire!" the blonde replies. "Okay, where do you live?" "In a house you silly billy!" the blonde replies. "No,no! How do we get there?" the operator asks fustratedly. "Duh! Big Red Truck!!"

Q Why was the blonde in the from Flashcomment Blonde jokes Jokes
Q. Why was the blonde in the tree? A. Because she was raking up the leaves!

A blonde is walking down the street from Flashcomment Blonde jokes Jokes
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open, exposing one of her breasts. A nearby policeman approaches her and remarks, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?" "Why, officer?" asks the blonde. "Because your blouse is open and your breast is exposed." "Oh my goodness," exclaims the blonde, "I left my baby on the bus!"

A blonde a brunette and a redhead from Flashcomment Blonde jokes Jokes
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on an island. One day, the three of them are walking along the beach and discover a magic lamp. They rub and rub, and sure enough, out pops a genie. The genie says, "Since I can only grant three wishes, you may each have one." The brunette says, "I've been stuck here for years. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I just want to go home." POOF! The brunette gets her wish and she is returned to her family. Then, the red head says, "I've been stuck here for years as well. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I wish I could go home too." POOF! The redhead gets her wish and she is returned to her family. The blonde starts crying uncontrollably. The genie asks, "My dear, what's the matter?" The blonde whimpers, "I wish my friends were still here."



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